I think I have got used to handling things on my own.<\/p>\n
I did not make a decision one day that I would stop depending on people. It happened slowly. One problem at a time. One thing after another. Eventually, figuring things out by myself became normal.<\/p>\n
When something goes wrong, my first instinct is usually to try and fix it.<\/p>\n
That has probably become even more obvious since I started working and building things on my own. A website stops working. I look into it. A setting does not save. I try to find out why. Something I am building does not behave the way I expected. I keep testing things until I understand what is going wrong. Sometimes I ask for help, but even then, I usually want to understand the problem myself.<\/p>\n
It is not some great quality I am trying to advertise. It is just how I have become.<\/p>\n
There are plenty of things I still do not know how to do. I have had projects fail. I have tried things that did not work. I have spent too much time fixing something that probably should have been left alone. I have also had moments where I had no idea what I was doing and had to learn as I went.<\/p>\n
Somehow, that became normal too.<\/p>\n
I think there is something strange about becoming used to solving your own problems. At first, you are proud that you figured something out. Later, you simply expect yourself to figure it out. The thing that once felt difficult becomes another item on the list.<\/p>\n
Something goes wrong.<\/p>\n
Deal with it.<\/p>\n
Move on.<\/p>\n
Do it again tomorrow.<\/p>\n
I have noticed the same thing outside work and technology too. There are things I do not talk much about. Not necessarily because they are secrets. Sometimes I just do not know what I would say. Sometimes explaining a problem feels like another problem.<\/p>\n
There are also things that other people cannot really solve for you anyway.<\/p>\n
They can listen. They can give advice. They can tell you what they would do. But there are still parts of life that you have to figure out yourself.<\/p>\n
Maybe that is where I became comfortable with being on my own.<\/p>\n
I do not mean physically alone all the time. I have people around me. I go to work. I talk to people. I spend time online. I have conversations. I work on things and share them.<\/p>\n
But there is a difference between having people around you and having someone you can bring every thought to.<\/p>\n
I have always found it easier to deal with some things quietly.<\/p>\n
Maybe because I do not want to make a big thing out of them. Maybe because I assume I can handle them. Maybe because I have already spent too much time thinking about something and saying it out loud will not change it.<\/p>\n
I am not sure.<\/p>\n
That part is still difficult to explain.<\/p>\n
What I do know is that being able to handle things yourself can become a habit. After a while, you stop noticing that you are doing it.<\/p>\n
You just do it.<\/p>\n
There is a good side to that. I have learned how to be patient with problems. I have learned that not everything needs an immediate answer. I have learned to search, test, make mistakes and try again. I have learned that sometimes the only way forward is to keep going for a little longer.<\/p>\n
But there is another side to it.<\/p>\n
When you become too comfortable carrying things yourself, you can forget that you are allowed to tell someone that something is difficult.<\/p>\n
You can become so used to saying, \u201cI will figure it out,\u201d that you rarely stop to think about whether you should have to figure out everything alone.<\/p>\n
I do not think I have an answer to that.<\/p>\n
Maybe I will always be someone who prefers to work things out for himself. There are things I genuinely enjoy figuring out without anyone’s help. Building something from scratch has its own satisfaction. So does solving a problem that looked confusing an hour earlier.<\/p>\n
I do not want to lose that part of myself.<\/p>\n
I just think I am beginning to understand that handling things alone and having to feel alone while handling them<\/em> are not the same thing.<\/p>\n I have spent a lot of time learning how to keep things moving.<\/p>\n Work. Projects. Ideas. Problems. Another website. Another thing to learn. Another thing to fix.<\/p>\n Life keeps moving too.<\/p>\n And maybe I have become better at moving with it than I have become at explaining what it feels like while I am doing it.<\/p>\n That is something I know now.<\/p>\n I have got used to handling things on my own.<\/p>\n I am not sure I ever decided to.<\/p>\n I just got good at it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think I have got used to handling things on my own. I did not make a decision one day that I would stop depending on people. It happened slowly. One problem at a time. One thing after another. Eventually, figuring things out by myself became normal. When something goes wrong, my first instinct is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":167,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"slim_seo":{"title":"I Got Used to Handling Things on My Own","description":"I think I have got used to handling things on my own. I did not make a decision one day that I would stop depending on people. It happened slowly. One problem a"},"_slim_seo_primary_term_category":2,"_slim_seo_primary_term_post_tag":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-i-know"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=168"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":169,"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168\/revisions\/169"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/unheard.me\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}